A Cowboy Told Me This

I don’t fear the gun – a lot of respectable people get shot. I don’t fear the blade, it’s a coward, it’s ashamed of itself, it’s got no creed or conscious. I don’t fear the fire, if it takes me I’m sure it will have earned my life. I only fear the gallows. I only fear the noose. I fear their earnestness and their righteousness. I fear the justice they bring.

Don’t tell me what happened. I don’t want to hear about it now. Don’t talk to me about angels, I know about angels, I don’t need to hear what they do in their off-time. And don’t tell the others about my visions, it will only trouble them, they’ll take me right back to the church and I don’t need that most of all. If you can tell me one thing – one thing in the whole world. Tell me about her. It’ll do me some good, I’ll be the audience instead of the spectacle for once. Just don’t hold your hands out for any more, I won’t give you anything, least of all my hands. Seriously. Stop it.

Can I trust you? I mean, if there was a gun in my back pocket and you were starving, could I turn my back? Don’t give me that look. You don’t fear what I fear, we can never be that close. Fine. Fine. Your word then, that’ll do fine.

You’ve heard the one about the philosophers on the mountain? They debated the meaning of existence while the the world came to an end. I guess that kind of describes my relationship with women.

I used to be the type, you know, ‘Lord, I’m Discouraged’, but I figure the only thing worth praying to is the sun. It wakes me in the morning, when it leaves I know it is time to rest. It keeps me warm – when it can – and allows me to eat what it grows. It illuminates my shadows and guides my journeys. Its angels are the stars, they help me map my world. Its only son is the moon, and you already know how much that’s done for me. I pray to the sun everyday, but I never ask it for anything, no, that would be presumptuous and greedy. I only pray to it. Meditate with it. The sun is a very good listener.

To answer your question from before, no. I don’t. Mostly I just hope she stays alive.


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